Just finishing my trip to Cali, I miss the things I did here and a few of my friends. But this place is the past, it is like a fuzzy dream being back here. Dreams of sex and pastels. I have been working on becoming a very different person from the person I was here. The cruel nature I had here I fear was pressed on me from dating the wrong guy. I hope I can become a kinder, more thoughtful person now that I live away from my past. I think it is slowly working as I am forced to stand on my own feet, my boyfriend is not a good crutch because I must hold him up, my parents are like a dream of comfort I no longer have.

Goodbye California. I doubt I will ever live in you again, but all my memories good and bad in you are precious. I find that who I am now has rekindled some dead friendships, and my inability to lie to my friends, to let them lie to their selves... though at times it drives them away, I had an old friend I lose while with P because of the bad side of me he brought come back, and apologize and we made up. P has moved on to a girl that accepts his cheating, so good for him. May they enjoy cheating on one another. I say good riddance. I apologize for cruelty I may have had. But I don't apologize for being truthful. I live an abuse free life for the first time in my life, and I hope everyone I know can one day live free of abuse. I will be here, when it all falls apart for all those friends, like I always have been. Guess it is the NF in me.

<3. Back to Hawaii, and my art free lifestyle(because I am a scientist, and we really have little time and energy to waste on art when we have to spend every day doing experiments) with me.